Walt; use interesting language
Walt: use varying sentence lengths
Walt: use personal voice
Bannery is a cute blue pokemon bunny. I wonder if anyone has seen Bannery yet? If you have not seen or herd about Bannery I will tell you all about her.
Bannery's ears are orange and yellow like the traffic lights. This pokemons head is as blue as the sky. Bannery's eyes's are dark purple and so are her whiskers.
On her body is a purple pattern with blue arrows. Bannery's body is light yellow so she can fly up in the sky. Because her head is blue and her body is yellow. Bannery has a red lightning sign on her chest.This pokemons tail is dark blue with a light blue pattern. Bannerys tail is zig zag,when Bannery is scared her tail goes straight.
Bannerys favourite foods are bananas, poke corn and berries. Bannerys likes these foods because...
Bananas: Bannery - BANanas - BANnery
Poke corn: nice and buttery. Poke corn Pop corn
Berries: they're small and cute.
I hope I have told you a lot about this Pokemon!
By Gloria
You have told me a lot about what she looks like and what she eats. Next time try to use some more exciting adjectives and some personal voice. Mrs Simpson
I like how you put everything in the right place. I also like how you started the hook it make me want to read more. Next time try and add more BOOM words. Great job Gloria
ReplyDeleteAsher